The day we thought would never come

Hi, how are you? I mean really how are you?

When we were told the UK was going into lockdown I felt like i couldnt breathe… We had been self isolating already for over a week as i had a nasty cough virus as did Stan. It made no difference, being told that we couldn’t leave our houses, that people were dying, that schools were closing it was unimaginable. Things like this don’t happen?

I spent the next week feeling like i couldn’t catch my breath, it was like someone was stood on my chest. Riddled with anxiety and verging panic attacks, at least that’s what it felt like. I spent every second focusing on why i couldn’t breath properly and my mind was just in overdrive. Everything was too much and we were being told we had to home school, we needed supplies we needed to be everything to everyone and i felt like i was drowning. We couldn’t see anyone, no support network how would i cope? Everyone i spoke to had different fears and as we fuelled each other my fear grew bigger and bigger.

We moaned yet took it back because others are worse off and others are working and some people are jobless…. Etc etc. But I think it’s important to remember that your feelings are valid and you can have a bad day, you can cry and you can laugh. Our emotions are ours and we have to deal with them because pushing it all away just buries it and eventually it resurfaces. Address your feeling’s and find ways of coping and dealing with them, start everyday new, Stop and just breathe!

I kept busy trying desperately to take my mind of the reality and do everything i was ‘supposed’ to be doing. Teaching 3 children of different ages whilst entertaining a 3yr old who is used to having my undivided attention whilst his siblings are at school. Suffice to say he went on strike and temper tantrums hit hard! Heaven forbid someone sit next to me and they would get the wrath! But i tried, i tried and i tried and i cried…

Enough was enough I striped back home schooling and i googled Super Nanny! Jo Frost you are the nuts! I printed of her reward chart and i praised and i praised and i praised. We had ALOT of time out and even more warnings but we improved! The boy got better, still as loud as police siren but behaving 80% better than he was! Hooray!

A week later and I can breathe again.

As for school the eldest is very self sufficient i drag him out of his pit and we start the day with the awesome Joe Wicks! Then he does 2 pieces of work from his homework app. Bella and stan do the same, Joe wicks followed by whatever i can muster up! We have a few maths and comprehension books and they use a few computer apps. They do the bare minimum just enough to switch their brains on.

What have we been up to?

Kid’s have made lunches themselves

We’ve baked ALOT!

We’ve painted

We’ve been on walks, scooters, bikes

We’ve spoke about memories over picnics in the garden and planned our next adventures!

We’ve played games in the sunshine!

Built lego

Made foam

Made obstacle courses

Wrote letters

Danced and tick tocked ALOT

Trampolined their socks off

Slept out in the front room

Joined in family quiz night

Do i feel bad we’re not learning a new language or researching new topics? Not one bit! I feel so overwhelming blessed to have been given this time to STOP and i have become a more patient, better parent because i have had to be there for them, ive shown up every day even if ive not wanted to. Im proud of how we are all coping and can’t believe how far we’ve come. It’s been hard at times but i have learnt so so much and i know they will look back and tell their children that the world got locked down and we had so much fun!!

How we went on beautiful walks and found hidden gems 5 minutes up the road we never knew existed. How we climbed trees and got stuck. How we had a BBQ 3 days in a row (the kids thought this was brilliant) How the easter bunny still managed to come and did he wear a mask?

It was pretty cool when spider man delivered the mail too!

So that’s our lockdown so far i hope you have found some positive in yours too.

With love

Tash


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