Hey, it’s been a while since Ive written on here, you know when life seems to swallow you up and you don’t have much time for anything? Well that’s been my reality this last year. That’s not to say I’m not OK, we’ve had some cracking times but when it comes to parenting i have faced my hardest challenges yet. I have cried alot and felt like I’m failing, I’ve moaned with all my might, I’ve nurtured and taught and I’ve battled with a very determined toddler almost daily.
Being a mum of four I’ve never been pulled in so many directions and had to deal with so many different emotions. Im not talking about just one child I’m talking about multiple children all dealing with different things. I’m talking about anxiety, hormones, frustration, anger you name it all the emotions!
To say we’ve muddled through makes it sound easy but I guess we have because.. Well you have to don’t you? everyday, every week, every month wondering if things will get better, if phases will end, if they are OK? Am I doing enough? What can we do to help?
Sometimes it has seemed like the fog isn’t going to lift and just when I can see the light another path opens with new obstacles and I can’t breath all over again, it been tough to say the least.
It seems I’m asking for parenting advice left right and centre and have this fear of trusting my own instincts, I’ve never questioned myself so much until now, having a very nearly teen has brought out all sorts of anxieties I never knew I had! I so badly want my children to be good people and don’t want them to make the wrong choices. I remember how easily influenced you can be in secondary school and how you only get one go at it, I want them to smash life because let’s face it its not easy. I want them to believe that they can do whatever they put their mind to and to reach for the stars, aim big and don’t settle.
I removed my son from school and home schooled him last term for reasons that are private but I fought with my emotions over it for so long and I look back now and wish I had done it sooner. I 100% made the right decision and I have my son back to the child he was, it actually breaks my heart when I realise how much he had changed and gone into himself and it wasn’t until I removed him that I realised how bad it had got. His self esteem was rock bottom and he now believes in himself again, he chats all the time and he kisses and hugs me like he use to. To me this is everything and I write this with a tear in my eye because it makes me so sad that I didn’t do it sooner and trusted my instincts.
I’m saying all this because I just want to say……
You know your child better than anyone and you have rights, you can do whatever you want when it comes to looking after your child, you are the parent! Trust your instincts and stand up for what you believe in, stand up for your child when they have no voice and don’t be scared you’ve got this and they need us!
So I’ll carry on climbing the obstacles and trying my best but know if you are finding it tough your not alone and your doing great.
Hug them babies tight
Much love x