When I tell people I have four children they always seem surprised, like how do I survive! This week I was chatting to a lovely lady at toddler group and she asked me…
“Do you ever have time to yourself?”
Wow that got me thinking, I went blank for a minute and then I was like “yes I have a spa membership and have 6 trips a year”. A spa membership I hear you say well aren’t you the lucky one!? I know I know! Its a Christmas present i get every year. I mean this is a luxury I’m very lucky to have and I make the most of every second of those recharging, relaxing, blissful days. I eat, drink and relax spending about 97% of the day lying down! I savour these days and they help me get through knowing that one may be close.
However that really is my only answer, 6 days out of 365 I mean just wow!
The conversation came about after talking about if I was to put Frank into nursery anytime soon. I’m not, at least I don’t intend to at the moment. I want to spend every second with him whilst he’s little before he gets gobbled up by school and if I don’t have to I’m not going to pay for him to go when he can be with me. We couldn’t afford to for a start, It’s just my preference and how I’ve always done it, he can go when he’s 3 but even then il be making sure we still have days to have fun.
Some parents put them in so they can get jobs done, go shopping and that’s cool it’s just not for me, I mean do what you gotta do you’re probably the winners to be fair! A child free food shop or time to blitz the house without another being hanging of your leg sounds blissful! At times when Frank’s annoying the crap out of me I would happily give him to a family of squirrels but alas it passes and I wanna savour every annoying moment!
Just to clarify I’m talking about stay at home mums, working is a whole different scenario again you gotta do what you gotta do!
Now I’m not complaining one bit it was just a realisation, I love my family time and don’t like to give up my weekends often but I guess what I’m wondering is, should we take more time out? Do you take time? What do you do? What works for you?
I am very conscious of taking time out at home, for instance if frank naps I try to make sure I sit down and have a cuppa for at least half an hour. We eat as a family most nights and when I bath the kids I bath too, that way when they are in bed I can switch off and chill. No housework (maybe the odd bit of washing to hang up) but generally I do nothing! That is how I have time and how I survive and to me it’s detrimental to my health because I have to feel I have taken some time out for me. The kids go to bed and that is my time, even if I only last till 9pm!
Of course there are other times I get time to myself but on a whole i guess it’s not much I’m sure I could arrange more if I wanted to. The kids spend so much time at school I just want to spend time with them at the weekends, the weeks are mad and there’s little quality time for the biggies. I made a choice to have children and I’m cool with that, I’m sure I’m not alone, I’m sure some parents can’t remember the last time they had a day to themselves so I guess that’s where self-care becomes even more important.
Everyone says we must put our kids first but I beg to differ, you are important! If you don’t take care of yourself how are you going to take care of someone else? If you crumble then so will everything around you! Do what you can to be the best version of yourself and be kind to yourself.
Get an early night
Have a bath and read a book
Find a show you love and switch off from everything else
Find a hobby, anything that clears your mind for 5 minutes
Do something that makes you feel good
Have friends round and giggle
Just please remember you are important too and you deserve a break 😘