One more step along the world I go……

As we walk into a new year it’s only natural to reflect on the previous right? I’ve been browsing through the thousands of pictures on my phone and smiling to myself whilst thinking “wow so much can happen or change in one year”

2018 was a lovely, I thought I would share some of my favourite moments with you guys.

This one passed her 1st Ballet exam and made me so proud!

Frank recited EIEIO 1657 times and we visited the local zoo’s and farms ALOT!

I had a lovely Birthday spent in London shopping and eating with Mr Bud.

Tried to be all insta and failed 😆 also so glad I decided to cut my hair short!

I took the kids on holiday on my own to Mudeford whilst Daddy worked and bossed being a single mum for a week.

The kids actually got on for a change!It was the furthest I’ve ever driven on my own and it was so worth it, we had the best week making memories and I felt so proud of myself. We stayed in the cutest air B&B and the kids were amazing! I think this is the first time I’ve pushed myself out of my comfort zone and it was sooooo worth it!

My first-born started secondary school and I had no idea what we were letting ourselves in for, he loves it and is doing really well. Me on the other hand, well I had no idea how much it would affect me watching my little boy try to grow up so quickly. It certainly has taken some getting used to! I’m still not sure how I feel about it (sobs into pillow)

Frank learning to talk has been an absolute delight! When he’s not bellowing at the top of his lungs he is a little chatterbox and is learning more and more each day. Milestones like this bring tears to my eyes, these moments are everything.

He has found his place in the family by being as loud as he possibly can and if no one listens then he gets louder!

He also found a strong love for chocolate!

If you leave anything on the side he will get it, yes that is a jar of Nutella!

Also I’m pretty sure the others gave him private lessons on how to be a little #%*#

Bunkfest was a blast as always! In particular the Queen tribute band were amazing!!

We holidayed and we had the best times with some really amazing friends.

Taking frank to visit Thomas and seeing his face was utterly priceless! He loved it so much and said merry hristmas to everyone we saw.

Sometimes it’s the little things that you remember the most like frank learning to speak, Bella smashing another ballet performance or that incredible steak dinner in Tenerife whilst we played games of snap and then walked along the beach. Joe letting Stan sleep in his room and seeing stan’s face light up. Daddy’s amazing Sunday roasts and bike riding down the road to see the cows for the 100th time!

Whilst we’ve been very lucky to have nice holidays and some lovely day trips sometimes the most fun can be had on your on doorstep and it’s important to remember that.

It’s also important to remember that for every good time and perfect picture there are probably 100 bad ones. Being a parent is a hard gig and being an adult in general can be pretty shitty at times.

One minute your winning and then the world flips or your kid eats a tube of smarties and you’re wondering what you did so wrong in a past life?

A certain child’s behaviour a few weeks back had me wondering what I had done so wrong, questioning all my choices as a parent, questioning school, their friendships and even their mental health. I have no idea what happened but for a month my child was lost and it was probably my hardest battle I’ve had as a parent to date. It was like I was living with an imposter and I cried ALOT at home and in public. I considered contacting the health visitor and wished jo frost could come and save me. I mostly worried that something had happened to him to make him behave in this way and that he was suffering somehow?

It was so hard and I thought it would never end but it did! I’m still unsure of the cause but I think it was a mixture of things including his transition to year 2 and his sister not being at the same school anymore. I also think it must be hard being child number 3 amongst the 4 siblings in the house and I think life just all got a bit too much! I mean it gets to much for me sometimes and I’m not 6!  After a lot of different techniques and asking for help we got through it and I learnt a few things along the way.

– Its ok to ask for help

– The kindness of a stranger can lift a cloud

– Don’t let the dick frowning at you in the supermarket ruin your day, just smile

– friends are everything

– it gets better

– eat pastries

– pizza for dinner twice in one week is perfectly fine

Here’s to 2019 I hope it’s good to you and your loved ones.

Tash x

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