I don’t think I ever thought about being a parent much whilst growing up in fact I was never that keen on kids, I would never ever want to hold a baby that was far to scary! I certainly never dreamed that one day I would have 4 of my own and 2 step children!
Just shy of 21 I had Joe, I want to say my whole world changed but it didn’t hugely he was an absolute angel and he kind of just fitted in. Four years later we decided to have another and I got my little girl.
All was going well and I was learning to balance life with two then came the big shock! Anyone who know’s me well will know that when I found out I was pregnant with Stan I was shocked beyond belief…… I know I know we risked it for a chocolate biscuit and that’s what happens but was I so crazy to think we had at least one get out of jail free card? Yes Tash you were!!!!!
There I was with a 4yr old who had just started school and my baby girl just shy of 4 months old and then came the news… 5 tests later and i was 100% pregnant! I had a baby I was having a baby and I was totally freaked out. I know it’s crazy now but at the time I felt like I was greedy! Like how can I get pregnant so easily when so many struggle? What would people think? How will I cope?
There can definitely be a bit of a negative perception around having lots of children, some people just don’t get it, why would you want lots? You must be mad? Another one!? How can you afford it? You don’t have enough room! Wow are they all yours?
According to statistics only 14% of families in the uk with children have 3 or more so I can understand how we stick out like a sore thumb. We also get lots of smiles though and also nice comments “Wow aren’t you lucky to have brothers and sisters” “what a lovely bunch of children” Honestly it’s been said and these comments make my day.
Having 2 close together yes it was a shock, yes it took me about 6 Months to get my head round it, it was hard work and yes there were times I cried but…. It was incredible! The first year was fine, Stan was a good baby and Bella was a giant toddler so she was very self-sufficient, we made the best of it and they grew an amazing bond.
The second year when Bella was two and Stan was one well that was a bloody nightmare they were like the gruesome twosome into everything, partners in crime taking me down one day at a time. From ice skating in hand soap to emptying out tea and coffee over the kitchen if I turned my back for a minute I was screwed!
That being said it was the best thing ever having such a small age gap because they are so close, they wouldn’t take anything without taking one for the other. They overlapped at pre-school and had a blast! Although it was scary at first I would recommend it to anyone to have children so close in age.
Then came Frankie our little dream boat! He’s such a babe and his siblings love him! He doesn’t stand a chance with all the silly things they teach him already he’s definitely going to be a character!
What have I learnt…
Whats important, as much as it kills me I can never maintain a pristine house with 4 kid no matter how much I want to. It’s clean but with 4 kids comes a lot of stuff! In every crevice you will find lego or hairbands and I deffo hide stuff in drawers when we have guests. Please tell me I’m not the only one?
My memory has turnt to sludge literally gone my kids even remind me that I forget things! “Yeah remember that Mum because you forgot last time” . Kids are really great at remembering your failings! Yes darling! I’m yet to forget a school event but the finer details are in there somewhere floating around with shopping lists, appointments, ballet practise, doctors appointments, wine….. Calendars are the way forward if it’s not on the calendar it’s not happening. I deffo forgot frank once! I’m not proud to say it but when frank was tiny I parked outside our local hair salon and ran in with my daughter. I sat there for 5 minutes whilst she was having her hair cut and suddenly a cold chill came over me! I must have turnt white as a sheet I think i mumbles something about sleeping baby and slid out the door running like a loon f*#* f*#* f*#* That was not my finest moment!!! Sorry baby! He was asleep all was good.
Planning is key
Days out are expensive!!!
You can’t book one room in a hotel! (Without lying/accidentally missing a kid off)
A multipack of cereal bars or yoghurt’s lasts one day!
Everyone wants to play at your house because it look so fun! By fun I mean wild, crazy and loud!
The washing is insane I often wish I could just bin the lot and buy new!
After school activities exhausting
Four kids later would I have more? Hell yes! If I was rich and had a big house, had a bit of help and someone to do my washing! But I’m not and I don’t so we will stick with this little tribe forever feeling truly blessed to have 4 happy healthy kids! 6 including my step children! There’s a lot of stress a lot of moaning, definitely arguing and they annoy me daily but there’s a whole lot of love and laughter and they are all incredible little humans !!
So that’s us in a nutshell loud and proud!
I am going have some other mum’s guest blogging about there small tribes over the next few weeks so keep your eyes peeled!