It’s all coming back to me now….

I’m tired.. there I said it. I’m tired, he’s tired, she’s tired were all bloody tired but who’s more tired? The parent that goes out to work? The parent that stays at home? The teenager? The grandparents? The daily commuter? We are all trying to live the best lives we can, trying to make the most of the thing’s, multitasking the shit out of life and sometimes we can just be tired, its fine! We can all be tired in our own right.

I don’t go out to work, I work at home raising human’s, it’s really easy.. said no parent ever! It’s incredibly challenging, sleep depriving, ill-paid and there’s a fair lot of heavy lifting involved. My baggage has become rather extensive coming in the form of four human’s, weighing heavily on my mind, body and soul leaving my brain feeling a bit frazzled and foggy. I thought baby brain was something you had initially after having a baby but mine seem’s to have hit a little later.

All it took was nearly two week’s of a poorly baby and it left me feeling like a zombie! I mean when they are tiny you expect not to sleep, it’s fine they need you, at times I even enjoyed it, peaceful milky cuddle’s in the night just me and my little human totally in sync and totally in love. Nearly a year down the line and the sleepless night’s are not quite the same, even when your little human is poorly a few nights Is manageable but by about day four your patience is less than desired, when you can’t do anything to help them and even a cuddle doesn’t seem to cut it it’s hard not to get frustrated.

Frank is going through a mahoosive clingy stage where I can’t leave the room without him following me and crying at my leg’s, it’s amazing how quick you forget these trying stage’s and how hard they can be especially with some sleep deprivation added to the mix. I feel bad that I can’t hold him for every second of the day but I’m not sure that would make him happy either. It’s just a delightful stage my boy has to through because he loves me so much!

This week I feel like those memories the ones we block out so well, I feel like they just came back with a flying head butt! Oh yes, yes I remember now I remember cooking dinner with a child attached to my leg, dribble and snot down the back of your jeans (which you will forget about and go out the house in) Emptying the dishwasher, quickly removing the knives to avoid a massacre whilst the baby climb’s up and practically inside it. Trying to hoover whilst your child turn’s off the hoover a million times is also a delight. But the sleep, man I love sleep, that I do remember!

I camped in with the boy’s at the weekend, I slept on the bottom bunk and had a whole night’s sleep! It was needed it was a bit of a do or die situation, I die of sleep deprivation or my husband dies from my wrath, he wanted his wife back not the witch he was currently living with, so we thought it best for everyone.

It was nice, it wasn’t what dreams are made of there was definitely a faint smell of wee coming from the bed (Stan was once a serial bed wetter) I just shut my eyes, ignored it and sailed away to the land of nod. It was worth it and definitely recharged me a tad, like I say I love sleep and with me enough is never enough but it was good and I managed to find some motivation to have a fun day with the kid’s. We visited Millet’s farm centre to have a look at the Christmas decoration’s, it was lovely and the kid’s thought it was brilliant the singing reindeer’s were a massive hit!

We have just hit leap 8 in the wonder weeks where Frankie will learn about sequence’s, he may start to show me what he want’s to do which will ease his frustration. He may also start to understand patience and see when I am doing something and start to understand he has to wait a minute. At least this is what it tells me, I am going to take this leap as a positive that’s going to ease things up a bit and basically stop the kid hanging of my leg.

Who am I trying to kid? I can live in hope right?

Note to self…. Buy Stan a new mattress

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