The last summer….

This is my baby, my first-born, the boy who turned my whole world upside and made my heart burst with unconditional love. The boy who cried with happiness watching me and his Dad get married, the boy that makes me burst with pride in everything he does…..

Guys my big boys going to secondary school in September!!!! I feel like he’s flying the nest! Am I alone in this?

I specifically remember secondary school being a turning point from childhood to adulthood, the world of a teenager who thinks they are an adult. A naive child that thinks they’re an adult is more fitting to what you actually are but in their eyes an adult! The things I got up to doesn’t bare thinking about….

It’s so scary we’ve sailed through the last 11 years smoothly with not to many bumps, we’ve been really lucky that the boy has an awesome bunch of friends some that he’s been friends with since age 3!

Being football mad he’s also got to know boys from other local schools, we can go pretty much anywhere and if there’s someone with a football then he joins them it seems to be a mutual passion that builds a friendship in a second. I love this about football socially it’s fantastic not so much when it’s on tv all the time, but socially brilliant! he’s going to know so many of his year when he starts in September all thanks to football.

This last year at school has been filled with cycling proficiency training, a residential stay, a bubble wrapped sex ed talk, internet safety, first aid and soon a trip to a safety centre where the children will learn all sorts of things like making a 999 call. This is all the prep work, all the prep to send them up to secondary school ready to take more responsibility and care for themselves, ready for a little more freedom.

We are all different and how i choose to bring up my children will never be exactly the same as anyone else and that’s great, stand for what you believe in and do what you think is right! After all these boundaries, rules and structures are what makes a child feel secure and loved whether they realise or not.

I personally feel like I have to release the reigns a little bit and I am kind of ok with that but it is still scary. He has had a phone for the last year and has started going out with friends for an hour here and there, but come September he’s going to be getting on a school bus and possibly hanging out in the next town blagging me to come and pick him up later! I know I don’t have to let him do this but I trust him and he is a pretty mature kid, he has given me no reason so far no to put my trust in him so I guess this is when it gets tested. I have to give him chances, he will make mistakes that’s what we do and that’s how we learn but we will figure out what works and if I have to pull those reigns back in that’s what we will do.

I think I’m going to have to get him a door key!!!!! THIS seems massive!!! Bet he’ll blimen loose it he has his father eyes and can’t find anything!

I am actually really excited for him, for all he is going to learn, the fun he will have, the people he will meet. We all say it, these years are the best!!!!! Simple things like getting chips in the park with mates and playing in the stream in your shorts! Making prank calls and buying all the 10p crisps! These things are the best days and I feel like it is going to be such an amazing adventure for him.

This summer I’m gonna plan lots of fun family adventures and squeeze him as much as I can because I have an inclin that the next one he might not be around quite so much……

The instamum series… @she_plusfive

I would love to share a lovely mumma of four, Brenda is such an inspiration I have followed her on Instagram for quite some time now and I’m absolutely smitten with her lovely family!

Tell me a little bit about yourself and your family?

I was born and raised in Mexico. Moved to the USA when I was 13 and have lived here ever since. I married in 2010 and have four beautiful children, expecting number five due in June 2018. We are a homeschooling family, we embrace simple minimal living and encourage our kids to be nature oriented as much as possible.

Did you always want to have a big family?

Yes! Ever since I was little I dreamed of being a mother, and I always knew I wanted more than three kids.

Do you children fight? How do you deal with it?

I haven’t met a set of siblings who don’t haha! I will say though when they have their little quarrels it’s usually because of sharing issues, and not taking turns. It really varies depending on who I’m dealing with at the moment. Each one of my kids is so unique that I have to use different approaches with each one. My son for example, we put him in time out for about ten seconds inside a closet and he comes out ready to apologize and move on. For my oldest daughter a simple look will do the trick. I feel like my parenting style is pretty gentle and I do my best to respect and validate their feelings.

What is your favourite thing to do with your children?

Cuddling is by far my most favorite thing. They share stories, or tell me what they’ve read, or simply letting me play with their hair and snuggle. It recharges me.

Do you think it’s important to give the children 1 on 1 time?

Very much so. And for a large family like us it is definitely something we have to put a lot of effort into. I try to spend as much time as I can with each one individually but sometimes it isn’t possible to do so. When the younger ones nap, I focus on my oldest daughters.

What is the most important to you when it comes to bringing up your children?

Our faith. My job as their mother is to mold their characters for eternity. I want them to love The Lord with all their soul and mind and strength.

How do you balance home life? There’s a lot of washing involved! Are you super organised or do you just wing it?

There is no balance really. Every day is so different from the next. My husband and I make a pretty good team though. We both do laundry, we both do dishes. Whoever has the time and is available does it without being asked.

Do you make time for yourself and do you and your husband get to spend time together?

I recently started working out 30 min a day and it’s made a huge difference in my mood. Even something small like a 15 min bath, or a hot shower, or even a trip to your favorite store without kids can be huge! Hubby and I try to leave a couple hours for mom alone time every week (for everyone’s safety haha) As far as dates together, that’s hard. There’s only a handful of people we would let watch our kids and schedules often work against us. We try to be intentional when we’re together at home.

Do you enjoy pregnancy?

I do enjoy it! All my pregnancies have been amazing. No throwing up, no morning sickness, no pain. With this one I had some hip pain but going to the chiropractor helps a lot. I crave a lot of sweet stuff with this baby! Donuts, cakes, pastries! I don’t give into my cravings often because I’m trying to stay healthy but I do crave sweets.

If you could give 3 tips to any mother/ father out there what would they be?

1.Put the phone down.

2.Laugh more.

3.Give yourself more grace and embrace your parenting style without comparison.

The newest addition will be arriving any day now and I personally think what a lucky baby to be joining a family clearly full of so much love!

What an inspiration!

Check out Brenda on Instagram her page is full of love and creativity! @she_plusfive

Thankyou Brenda and good luck with your new addition xxx

Girls Girls Girls

My daughter recently turn’t 7!

She’s changed a lot over the last year, as a baby/toddler she’s always been very easy-going, people always said to me arent girls the hardest? I’ve never really got it, my daughters been pretty easy and to a degree still is, it probably helps she’s surrounded by boys! She’s no delicate princess that’s for sure!

Lately we’ve started experiencing a few minor meltdowns I can’t even remember why because the reasons were so minor. She has definitely stamped her feet and told us NO a few times but that seems to have passed pretty quickly. It’s nothing major if anything it’s all just highly irritating and to be honest it’s all quite laughable! She had a full on meltdown when we went away for the weekend because she couldn’t have 3 pillows!

I can literally remember myself doing the same things at her age so my mum tells me I was pretty horrific I mean I wasn’t called the phantom booer for nothing I cried a lot! Would Lye on shop floors, flooded bathrooms, I mean you’ve not got a patch on me kid!

Is this just an age thing? Hormones? Bloody hormones have a lot to answer for I’m not keen on them pesky things!

What I wasn’t prepared for happened on a Thursday morning whilst getting ready for school…. I said to B she didn’t need to wear tights as it was going to be a hot day. “Can I wear leggings?” No darling if your worried about people seeing your knickers whilst cartwheeling just wear some pe shorts like you did last summer? “No because people will see my fat legs, look at them they move (stamps foot)” and burst into tears, hysterical! “Look mum you don’t understand, people will laugh”

My baby 7 years old crying about her beautiful body.

To say I was shocked is an understatement I literally couldn’t believe these words were coming out of her mouth and my heart broke a little bit in fact I felt gutted!

“When I have my tights on my legs look straight mum”

I explained to her how her legs weren’t supposed to look straight! We’re supposed to have some fat on our bodies how shape was beautiful and how her body was beautiful!

She ended up going to school in shorts and socks pulled up over her knees so she basically had no flesh on show, when we got to school she burst into tears again and I thought maybe she was coming down with something and decided to take her home and give her some mummy time.

Later that day I asked her if anyone had said anything to her or had she seen anything that made her feel like this about herself and her reply was not what I was expecting…..

“Yes mum when you was in your bedroom the other day with no clothes on I looked at you and thought I don’t want my legs to be like yours because yours are really big!”

Yes there it is… I felt like I took a bullet!! Literally a bullet in my heart! My daughter looks at me and thinks that! Gobsmacked!

One I felt sad that she looks at me and doesn’t see a princess if I’m totally honest I thought I was up there as a cool mum! Little did I know!

Secondly I’m so disappointed that my daughter is already so focused on body image and what people look like! I’ve always told my children how we are all equal how we can be who we want to be, people can be who they want, dress how they want, love who they want and how we should all accept each other.

Don’t get me wrong I do see the funny side of her saying this to me I mean so far on my motherhood journey I’ve had

“mum you look like a princess…. princess fiona”

“Wow mum look at your bum your like Big mumma”

Add it to the list…

You gotta love them right?

Serious note…

It was a huge eye opener to what’s possibly going to come in her teenage years! It’s such a big responsibility having a child, keeping them safe and well and guiding them in the right path in life and I wasn’t prepared for that! I think whilst their little we live in a naive bubble of cuteness and rainbows and all we see is innocence but they grow and we need to mould them into people we want them to become, strong women in her case and not what society pushes upon them and what the latest image of perfection is that week. I need to be her support, her lifeline! My kids need to feel they can come to me with anything. But how, how do we do that? If I’m honest I don’t know but I’m open with them, we talk about our feelings and I ask them if they are worried about anything and I guess that’s a good base to work from.

Part of me thought I was to blame, I used to be really insecure about my body it’s took 30 years for me to actually feel comfortable in my own skin. Children are not stupid they are always listening, Bella would have heard me talk about being on a diet or asking if my legs look ok? I have been mindful of what I say but some things would have definitely slipped through the net. I also can help but think that this is quite normal, I guess a parent going to the gym all the time is because they want to keep fit and healthy? We watch what we eat so we don’t gain weight I mean our kids even get weighed at blimen school so the government can tell us if they are over weight or not! How careful do we need to be around our children? It’s so hard I love clothes and I love make up and that’s me I can’t change that and I don’t want to but I do tell Bella she has beautiful skin and how she doesn’t need make up to look beautiful, she wears what she wants and i have no input.

Where do we go from here? I don’t know but I will say that I started writing this blog about 3 weeks ago and she HAS been baring her legs and hasn’t mentioned it since. I also received a heartfelt apology after we had a chat about what she had said. I told her that we shouldn’t look at people and judge them by how they look we should look at people for who they are inside and how everyone has some kind of beauty, I explained to her how I had carried 4 babies and how incredible that made my body and I am proud of it!

I think it was a momentary thing and whilst I was extremely worried that day I’m not now but for what the future holds I guess it will be full of surprises, i won’t always get it right but I will try and we will get through whatever it has to throw at us!

I’m here for you kid!

When a birth plan doesn’t quite go to plan….Raising awareness for group B strep…

Laura has kindly shared her birth story with us, sometimes birth doesn’t always go to plan and Laura would like to spread awareness about something very close to her.

When I finished work for maternity leave, I don’t think it had still sunk in that I was going to be having a baby. I’d had the most amazing, textbook pregnancy… plenty of nausea but no sickness, cravings for mini eggs (oh the hardship) a cute little bump… I had LOVED being pregnant. I had been doing hypnobirthing; I was planning on a home water birth with as few drugs as possible and I was so incredibly excited about it all. I felt really relaxed, and looking forward to giving birth. I had a birth plan, it didn’t even cross my mind that my birth would be anything other than what I had written down on that oh so black and white piece of paper.

I was convinced I was going to be early, I had the 19th June cemented in my mind, so on the morning of the 19th, when I started getting proper contractions, I KNEW he was coming! I was nearly 2 weeks early, and I’d been having light contractions for a couple of days so to be sure that I was actually in labour, I popped myself up to the hospital for them to check. They confirmed I was in active labour and 4cm dilated, so (very excited but also very calm and relaxed) I took myself home to make sure everything was ready for little mans arrival.

I called the husband and told him things had started but that he didn’t need to rush home, and I spent the rest of the day pottering about while still having contractions. By the time Matt got home from work, things had really progressed, and a couple of hours later we called the midwife. When she arrived, she told me that things were progressing really nicely, all was going well, I was still 4cm dilated but she was pretty sure we would have a baby by the morning. A few hours later I got in the pool… and a few hours later I was still there. After a while I got out and decided it wasn’t really doing all that much for me, it seemed to be slowing down and I was starting to get tired (I’d had no sleep since the Saturday!)

On the Tuesday afternoon, I was still in labour at home (two midwife shift changes later!) when we had a call from the hospital – I’d had some swabs done when I was there and they were back… I had Group B Strep. Because I was in active labour, I needed IV antibiotics every 4 hours; we decided the sensible thing to do was to move to the birthing unit in Jessops Hospital, so we packed up all the bits we would need for a brief hospital stint (I’d already got an emergency bag just in case, as I knew things might not go to plan!) and set off on our way.

I was put in a birthing room, given my first load of antibiotics and had all sorts of bloods taken. By Wednesday morning, I was still only 5cm dilated… nothing had progressed.

By late Wednesday evening, I had another visit, this time from a consultant who told me my bloods had come back and I had severe labour on-set pre-eclampsia. My blood pressure had shot through the roof, and my kidneys and liver were failing. I was told I would have to be admitted to the consultant led ward so they could monitor me, they were going to have to break my waters and induce my labour as it still wasn’t progressing; my body was shutting down, and baby was getting grumpy.

My relaxed, drug free hypnobirthing plan promptly flew out the window, I was advised to have an epidural to bring my blood pressure down and get some rest – which I did, desperate to avoid the ever looming threat of a c-section. I have to say though (probably thanks to hypnobirthing) I was still really calm and relaxed.

After 84 hours in active labour, at 1.43pm on Thursday the 22nd June, I finally got to meet my beautiful little boy Frank, having very narrowly missed a caesarean.

We were on cloud 9, it hadn’t been quite the straightforward labour I was expecting, but I still enjoyed every minute of it, and it had all been worth it.

After that glorious first hour, a paediatrician came into the room to look at Frank as they were concerned about his breathing. Next thing I knew, my husband was going one way with Frank to be “monitored” and I was going the other way to the high dependency unit, where they wanted to keep me until my kidneys and liver showed some signs of functioning normally after the pre-eclampsia. I declined the monitoring, all I was bothered about was going to find Frank.

I thought he was going for monitoring, so I wasn’t even a little bit prepared for walking into intensive care to see my little boy in an incubator. The next few hours passed in a blur. I woke up the next morning at 5am, my 30th birthday and I was alone in a hospital bed without my little boy, surrounded by wards of women who had just given birth and had their babies with them. I had a little (big) cry, then pulled myself together. What was the point in feeling sorry for myself, when I could go down to see Frank, sit by his incubator, and maybe be allowed to hold him for just a short while. I managed to track down the consultant covering the room he was in, who told me Frank actually had pneumonia which has been caused by the GBS I had been carrying.

The next few days were all a bit of a haze, spent mostly just sitting in intensive care by his incubator, holding him when we could and trying to avoid all the machines he was hooked up to.

It seemed like forever, but he was only actually in there for 4 days before being moved into special care on day 5, and then the day after he was allowed to come up to the ward with me until I was given the all clear and we were both discharged. My blood pressure still wasn’t normal, there was something wrong with my platelets, and my kidney or liver (I forget!?) wasn’t quite back in working order, but I didn’t care, I was going HOME.

The first few days/ weeks were all a bit of a blur (you can read all about them on my blog – https://www.wingingitinstyle.com/blog/my-intro-to-motherhood – if you want!)

For those wanting some more information about Group B Strep. It is carried by around 25% of women, and the bacteria can be passed from the mother to the baby as they pass through the birth canal. There is a lot of information about GBS here –https://www.cdc.gov/groupbstrep/about/newborns-pregnant.html – which is worth a read. The UK is one of few countries in Europe that does not screen for GBS routinely during pregnancy, and a woman who is carrying the bacteria usually has no symptoms at all so is completely unaware she has it.

There are a number of reasons that are given by the NHS for not testing as standard, I am not sure whether I agree with them or not… but I DO want to share this story in the hope of raising awareness. The NHS might not do the tests, but you can buy them online. They are available here – https://www.groupbstreptest.co.uk/ and at only £35 (the test is free, the lab fee is £35) they are worth every penny if you are expecting, if only for peace of mind.

We were some so lucky… if they hadn’t have found out about the GBS I probably wouldn’t have gone up to the hospital, or found out about the pre-eclampsia… we would never have realised “grumbling” in a new born baby was a sign of breathing problems, had it not been for the fact the staff were aware I was carrying GBS our story could have been completely different.

I will forever be grateful to the NHS and the amazing midwives, consultants and nurses in the maternity wards and neonatal unit in Jessops for their incredible work. I can’t thank them enough for the wonderful care they gave to me and Frank during that first week, and I will never forget how lucky we are to have our beautiful little boy.

You can find laura on Instagram at winging.it.in.style

Her page also links to her blog

Pop over and say Hi!

Thankyou laura!!!

The Instamum series… Haus_of_boys

Being a mother of a tribe! I LOVE speaking to other mum’s of large families. I love finding out how they do it? How do they find homelife? what works for them?

One of the reasons I love Instagram is because you can do this, you can find people just like you living the same life. They maybe thousands of miles away but you can relate, share problems, ask for advice, laugh and share joy in their journey. I find so much inspiration from some of the people I follow and with that in mind I decided to ask some very inspiring Insta Mumma’s if they could share their stories…..

First up we have Fiona aka  haus_of_boys

Fiona lives in the countryside in Australia she is a little camera shy herself but the boys are anything but! They work it and they are a gorgeous bunch of lads! Fiona is clearly a fantastic photographer and the boys have wardrobes to die for!

Tell me a bit about yourself?

We are a family of 6, sometimes 7! You see I have 4 boys with my current partner but the boys also have a half brother from my previous relationship. My boys are Zach 19yrs, Benny 8, Harley 6, Jack 4 and Noah 3.

Did you always want to have a big family?

I never planned on having a big family! I never actually thought about it growing up. I knew I wanted kids and I always wanted my first to be a boy (haha looks like I wished for that a little too much)…. that being said I think I remember someone once asking me one how many kids I -wanted and I said 4!

Do your boys fight? How do you deal with it?

Yes my boys do fight! They love each others company and are definetly a close team, but of course they are boys and they can come to blows over who’s turn it is on the PS4 or over toys. I tend to make them apologise to each other and talk it out but if tensions are high I separate them.

What is your favourite way to spend time with your family?

My all time favourite thing to do with the kids is to go to the beach! Its one place where EVERYONE is happy and content to be there. They rarely fight or argue and we are all happy to be there all day… literally! Its our happy place!

Do you think its important to give the children one on one time?

Definetly important to have one on one time though I find it hard to do this. My 3yr old gets a lot because two of the boys go to school and one goes to kinder a few times a week. I feel my relationships aren’t  as strong without one on one time and its something I’m trying to work on this year.

What is the most important to you when it comes to bringing up the boys?

The most important thing to me is to bring them up to be compassionate, empathetic and generous human beings. I would be happy to know my kids grow up being mindful of the other people we share the planet with no matter the colour of their skin or what sex they are.

Its also important that they grow up as a tight knit brotherhood. I can grow old happy if I know they have each others back.

How do you balance homelife? There’s a lot of washing involved! Are you super organised or do you just wing it?

The balance is hard but we have morning and evening routine charts to keep some system going. I like to think I’m organised and I am in some sense but theres a lot of winging it involved too. I think when the boys are at school I will have more time to consentrate on keeping the home organised.

Do you get much time to yourself and for you and your husband?

I don’t make enough time for me!! I work a little job one morning a week but because of my husband’s long and frequent working hours there’s not much time for me to plan me time. I have a few events coming up soon without the kids so I do have some girls nights to look forward to!

My partner and I don’t get much time together at all because he works a lot, I know this isn’t healthy for our relationship and it’s definitely something we want to work on.

Your Instagram photo’s are so gorgeous! Are they hard to take? Are the boys compliment? The photo’s come across very natural to me..

It’s not easy! Sometimes the boys don’t want to do it but we do a lot of collaborations with kids fashion labels so some weeks I do have to push them a little more 🙈 . I do have to “pay” them in a way! Ben collects little oshi toys, Harley collects grocery gang and Noah gets Thomas the tank engine mini’s 😂 I literally take about 20 snaps and hope I get one that reflects their personalities!

If you could give 3 tips to any mother/ father out there what would they be?

1. Follow tour own instincts, there’s so much expectation of what a good mother or father should be but at the end of the day this is tour parenthood journey and you need to make it comfortable and suitable for you.

2. Make sure you get plenty of time out from your kids, it will honestly make you love them more and therefor a happier parent.

3. Try and keep a hobby or routine that you did prior to children (or start a new one) just so you feel like you do something for yourself to not just for your kids.

Lastly… any more babies????

Oh god no!!! I’m 42 now my baby days are over!!!

I saw this today on Fiona’s stories, the boys having mud ball fights!!! Made a laugh!

Head over to Instagram and check out Haus_of_boys for more fun pictures of this lovely clan!

Are they all yours???

I don’t think I ever thought about being a parent much whilst growing up in fact I was never that keen on kids, I would never ever want to hold a baby that was far to scary! I certainly never dreamed that one day I would have 4 of my own and 2 step children!

Just shy of 21 I had Joe, I want to say my whole world changed but it didn’t hugely he was an absolute angel and he kind of just fitted in. Four years later we decided to have another and I got my little girl.

All was going well and I was learning to balance life with two then came the big shock! Anyone who know’s me well will know that when I found out I was pregnant with Stan I was shocked beyond belief…… I know I know we risked it for a chocolate biscuit and that’s what happens but was I so crazy to think we had at least one get out of jail free card? Yes Tash you were!!!!!

There I was with a 4yr old who had just started school and my baby girl just shy of 4 months old and then came the news… 5 tests later and i was 100% pregnant! I had a baby I was having a baby and I was totally freaked out. I know it’s crazy now but at the time I felt like I was greedy! Like how can I get pregnant so easily when so many struggle? What would people think? How will I cope?

There can definitely be a bit of a negative perception around having lots of children, some people just don’t get it, why would you want lots? You must be mad? Another one!? How can you afford it? You don’t have enough room! Wow are they all yours?

According to statistics only 14% of families in the uk with children have 3 or more so I can understand how we stick out like a sore thumb. We also get lots of smiles though and also nice comments “Wow aren’t you lucky to have brothers and sisters” “what a lovely bunch of children” Honestly it’s been said and these comments make my day.

Having 2 close together yes it was a shock, yes it took me about 6 Months to get my head round it, it was hard work and yes there were times I cried but…. It was incredible! The first year was fine, Stan was a good baby and Bella was a giant toddler so she was very self-sufficient, we made the best of it and they grew an amazing bond.

The second year when Bella was two and Stan was one well that was a bloody nightmare they were like the gruesome twosome into everything, partners in crime taking me down one day at a time. From ice skating in hand soap to emptying out tea and coffee over the kitchen if I turned my back for a minute I was screwed!

That being said it was the best thing ever having such a small age gap because they are so close, they wouldn’t take anything without taking one for the other. They overlapped at pre-school and had a blast! Although it was scary at first I would recommend it to anyone to have children so close in age.

Then came Frankie our little dream boat! He’s such a babe and his siblings love him! He doesn’t stand a chance with all the silly things they teach him already he’s definitely going to be a character!

What have I learnt…

Whats important, as much as it kills me I can never maintain a pristine house with 4 kid no matter how much I want to. It’s clean but with 4 kids comes a lot of stuff! In every crevice you will find lego or hairbands and I deffo hide stuff in drawers when we have guests. Please tell me I’m not the only one?

My memory has turnt to sludge literally gone my kids even remind me that I forget things! “Yeah remember that Mum because you forgot last time” . Kids are really great at remembering your failings! Yes darling! I’m yet to forget a school event but the finer details are in there somewhere floating around with shopping lists, appointments, ballet practise, doctors appointments, wine….. Calendars are the way forward if it’s not on the calendar it’s not happening. I deffo forgot frank once! I’m not proud to say it but when frank was tiny I parked outside our local hair salon and ran in with my daughter. I sat there for 5 minutes whilst she was having her hair cut and suddenly a cold chill came over me! I must have turnt white as a sheet I think i mumbles something about sleeping baby and slid out the door running like a loon f*#* f*#* f*#* That was not my finest moment!!! Sorry baby! He was asleep all was good.

Planning is key

Days out are expensive!!!

You can’t book one room in a hotel! (Without lying/accidentally missing a kid off)

A multipack of cereal bars or yoghurt’s lasts one day!

Everyone wants to play at your house because it look so fun! By fun I mean wild, crazy and loud!

The washing is insane I often wish I could just bin the lot and buy new!

After school activities exhausting

Four kids later would I have more? Hell yes! If I was rich and had a big house, had a bit of help and someone to do my washing! But I’m not and I don’t so we will stick with this little tribe forever feeling truly blessed to have 4 happy healthy kids! 6 including my step children! There’s a lot of stress a lot of moaning, definitely arguing and they annoy me daily but there’s a whole lot of love and laughter and they are all incredible little humans !!

So that’s us in a nutshell loud and proud!

X

I am going have some other mum’s guest blogging about there small tribes over the next few weeks so keep your eyes peeled!

Is it ok to not be ok?

These last few weeks have been hard! Like seriously hard. Whilst I sit here reflecting on them I’m struggling to actually remember what was hard and why it was hard? Because that’s what happens life gets shit we ride it out put on our big girl pants and crack on! You get over it and it soon becomes a distant memory you managed to survive!

A wild 5yr old running around the supermarket hitting his siblings and acting completely bloody deranged whilst everyone looks on you with discarace, now that one I haven’t forgotten just yet!

Now whilst in the thick of it I wasn’t keen on being a mum at all and definitely questioned my life choices a lot, I mean I certainly didn’t pick the easy option. Anxiety at an all time high inside I felt like running but you can’t and it’s truly suffocating at times. I definitely said I was going for a wee so I could just have 5 minutes peace ALOT! Also questioned if I was in fact losing the plot because I was so bloody stressed out. Telling your husband that you might get sectioned if the kids don’t sort their shit out! I definitely had a glass of wine in my hand when he was walking through the door most days!

So that right there that pretty much summed up our half term it may seem harsh but it’s true and I’m not sugar-coating it because what’s he point?

The point is that we get through it and live to tell the tale, we create star charts, implement punishments, question our parenting. We question the children’s diet, question if they have behavioural problems you have missed (yes I did), arrange meeting’s at school and confide in friends. You pretty much do everything you can to get back on track and you do that because of love!

Because you care about your child and the person you want them to be, it kills me to see them being horrible to each other or putting each other down or even themselves down.

I have spoken to so many people in the past week who have expressed exactly the same feeling’s as me and it has made me feel so much better, not because their going through it too because it’s a shit place to be but because it means that I’m not on my own and I’m normal, it’s normal and sometimes it’s ok to not be ok!

We’re in this together and speaking about it is the best medicine.

I also recommend

– Deep breathing

– regular bathroom breaks

– Wine

– more wine